why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
