a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
