I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
