And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
