too bad you live with your parents still
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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