I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
