the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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