2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
