If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
