Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
