i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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