I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
