Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
