WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I think i got beer on your cat.
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