its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
