handjob tips. give me some.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
