I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
