it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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