just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
