she was so not down for the gang bang
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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