I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
how drunk are you?
Several
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
