you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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