Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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