We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
