Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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