well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Apparently you make a good broom.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
