yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
