Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
