This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
