Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
