He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dear god my vagina.
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