Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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