Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
