At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
