I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
