i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
