So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
