mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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