so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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