As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
