I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
