Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
