Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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