And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
