We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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