Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
