i just wanna soil my oats bro
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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