Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
