were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
