I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
