So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
