Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Actions speak louder than pants.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
