i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
